Breaking up should be clean. When one person is in near-total control of the situation it falls to them to make it quick. There’s no benefit to dragging out the process or slowly ramping-down the relationship over the course of a last few dreadful dates. Primarily, though, it should be obvious.
Attraction is not subjective. There are objective guidelines of what is sexy… or at the very least I know that waking up feeling bloated surrounded by empty beef jerky bags (yes PLURAL) is not considered remotely arousing.
Last night, I survived my nightmare. After years of living in the city, two of them being completely alone, I came home from yoga to find I had a visitor.
I once told a guy that I was late to our date because I had stopped at home to eat a pickle. I really liked that guy, and I really liked those pickles.
When I look at my reflection- hunched over with a beer gut and no pants- I can’t help but wonder what kind of creature would want to date this mess?
“So your favorite book… ‘s Atlas Shrugged?” I slur.